Sometimes.
Sometimes you care.
Sometimes you care too much.
Sometimes you care so much..
it hurts you.
It's hard when you love and/or care about someone, and you feel like your efforts are wasted, you feel as if you're trying for nothing, you feel as if they don't appreciate you. But yet, you still continue to love and care for that someone. No matter how stubborn they are, how frustrating things can be, or even how disappointed you may be, that doesn't take away from your love and care. You have the best intentions, this is just you caring. You want to help them grow, to become stronger, to become better, to utilize their potential, to exceed their goals. You want them to be the better version of themselves. Sometimes, if you care and love about them a whole extra much, you want them to even be better and succeed more than you.
Yeah, they way you express your love and care can be a bit overwhelming, demanding, misleading, or sometimes even uncalled for, but sometimes its because at those points you have cared and loved more than you should. Your care and love turns into pain, pain that you cannot bear, however, that doesn't change your willpower to care and love regardless. That pain wells up inside your heart and poisons your mind, yet you push yourself to try to get through to them. You are hurting, you are breaking, you are losing yourself, but that still isn't enough to defeat your love and care.
Because, no matter how much they may hurt you, no matter how much they may not appreciate you or understand or see your good intentions, you'll still try, you'll still push, you'll still be there. You still believe in them. Even if they've lost their own hope, you still believe in them. Even if they give up on themselves, you still give them your support. Even if it tears you up inside, your love and care is so strong, that you are immune and almost numb to that pain. All you care about is them. Their success, their happiness, their well-being.
Even if it comes off the wrong way, and that love and care comes off as anger and disrespect, it's still love and care, it's just be misunderstood. The words coming from my mouth aren't meant to sound like hatred or discouragement, but sometimes it does and I wish it didn't. It's because the pain inside me sometimes gets the best of me, but know that it never takes away from my care and love, no matter how much you hate me and are sick of me after I try to push you.
Love and care hurts. Isn't love and care supposed to be a good thing? Sometimes if you love and care so much, you completely ignore the fact that you need to love and care about yourself, that it just ends up taking control over you and you lose yourself, and leave yourself in pain. But, that pain and hurt that I feel inside can be pushed away, because all I want to do is push you, forward and beyond, and goals and aspirations you may have or I may have. That pain and hurt that builds up in me, is broken down because I sit here still loving and caring about you, even if sometimes you hurt me, or think that I'm just ruining your life.
That pain. That hurt. Those tears running down my face. They are all temporary. If thats what I have to face, I will because I just want to get through to you. I just want you to realize that love and care is all I bleed across my heart. Love and care is all that falls out of my mouth and are the thoughts screaming out of my head. I'm misunderstood, I'm pushy, I can be irrational, I can say things that are rude, uncalled for, unnecessary, and just straight up stupid, but regardless of what you feel from those things, I've never had nothing but good intentions. Regardless of how you feel or your own interpretations of my actions and my pushing and my thoughts, I know that I care and I love and I believe and I support and I am here for, even when you are not there for yourself.
Yes, I am in a lot of pain, and yes, it can take over me, but after some reflection and time, I know that at the end of the day, no matter what pain I go through, it'll stay as love and care.
