Plane Thoughts

Being on a plane can be so isolating. So restricting. So confining. You sit there for hours, disconnected from electronics with the few options to either sleep, speak, eat, or engage in an activity such as reading, writing, knitting, etc. But because of its isolation I find it so powerful in the sense that it leads to more human interaction and engagement, more time to challenge thought provoking ideas and interests, more time to disconnect from a device that brainwashes, controls, and distracts humans from utilizing real life and face to face interactions as the sole form of communication and having time pass, or simply even more time to rest for your body, heart, and mind.  

You sit there and wonder how one form of transportation is carrying so many lives, so many souls, so many hearts, to one single destination. Then that’s it. Once that plane lands these lives, these souls, these hearts go off to their next destination point — never to be seen again. These living and breathing beings around you, yet, unless you dare, you will never understand or know. The diversity, the culture, the background, the stories, and the experiences you are surrounded by as you are trapped in the confinement of an airplane either goes to waste as it disappears the moment you step foot off the airplane, or can enrich your mind and fill your heart. 

You look to your left, you look to your right. For many traveling with people they know there is that comfort of having someone by your side, but if you travel alone — like many of my travels — everyone around me are strangers. There is no comfort of speaking my mind, engaging in thorough and enticing conversations, leaning on because your head is too damn heavy to stay upright when you sleep. Or is there? 

Can people find comfort within each other on this airplane? From my experiences, I feel like most people are “minding their own business” and keeping to themselves. However, what makes me curious is that what if that person next to you wants to engage in conversation with you just as much as you do, however both of you are afraid, too shy, too timid, or too hesitant to start it off. I wonder if those around me are so bored out of their minds, and simple human interaction can make the flight that much more enjoyable, bearable, and maybe even pleasant. 

You sit there and can’t help but think and wonder. Your mind wanders aimlessly as you are given so much time to dive deep into your thoughts, the inner workings of your mind, your deepest of dreams. With this restriction, you are less consumed on whats going on in others lives through media posts, and rather have the opportunity to understand whats going on in others lives by taking the chance to engage in conversation with those around you. Yeah, talking to strangers can be scary, but for most relationships, everyone starts out as strangers anyways so why not engage in some small talk to pass time and possibly build a connection with someone that could end up being important to you or impactful to you in some form or way. Engaging in these conversations rather than being glued to your screen opens opportunities for you to possibly learn — learn more about that person, about yourself, and learn new things that you may have not known or have even thought about before.  

I am curious as to what brings them on this plane. I am curious as to where they will be going once we reach that final destination. I am curious as to who they are, what stories they have, what has shaped them and their ideologies, their perspectives, their morals, their dreams and aspirations. I am curious as to if making a friend, an acquaintance, a whatever they become can actually become lifelong, long term, and something that this confining airplane has beautifully developed in its trap of isolation from the toxicity and manipulation of electronics and media. 

With these curiosities, observations, and even experiences of talking to the people sitting next to me on an airplane, I’ve learned a lot. With that being said, I do challenge you to try — try to engage, try to be present, try to connect, and try to establish and build a relationship that could just last on that airplane or who knows, can end up being a lifelong relationship. Don’t dread not being able to use your electronic device. Don’t dread the long flight. Don’t dread having nothing to do on the airplane. Because, there is such a huge solution to all of that, it is just up to you to utilize that solution and see where it takes you. 

Sparking the Mind

Surface level conversations obviously come to end as there is no depth to it --- rather people have surface level conversations to get by, to end the conversation, speed up the process, avoid awkwardness, and to even protect themselves and who they are. It's the: "Hey, how are you"? "Good". "How are YOU"? "Good". type of conversations that are so short, so simple, so straight to the point with no depth, background, or truth behind it. I find that sometime when I have surface level conversations it is to mask what I truly feel or what I truly am experiencing for the sake of time or convenience for myself or that person, or possibly because I am not interested in talking. There's not necessarily anything wrong with having surface level conversations with people, especially depending on who you are, how willing you are to disclose information, and also who the person you are having the conversation with and what your relationship with that person is. However, what I've learned through having the most surface level conversations to the most in-depth and insightful conversations with both strangers and people close to me is that when I have the insightful conversations I come out of them learning so much about myself, them, the world, society, etc. and find it such a growing experience and it being where I gain the most knowledge. Having the conversations that are thought provoking, insightful, stimulating, and intriguing always leads to me wanting to know more, talk more, question more, and spark similar conversations with other people. Those types of conversations where though it ends due to time (for example), the conversation never really ends. There is so much more to say, so much more to think about, so much more to learn and to understand.

Insightful conversations are, as cliche as is, what I could say I live for. These conversations gets my mind going, it sparks new ideas, it brings in new perspectives, it shares different stories, and ultimately it contributes to who I am and how I continue to grow. I come out of these conversations feeling such positive energy with the urge to have the conversation with others.

It can definitely be scary having such in-depth conversations with people because you may feel vulnerable, scared, or uncomfortable with disclosing information, sharing parts of yourself you don't know or don't want to admit to/resurface, and it puts you in a position to talk about things that you don't always think or talk about. But a part of me believes that society has trained us to think and be that way (aside form own personal feelings and preferences). From my own experience and observations, society has created this "Hi, Bye" way of living and interacting with others to where you just say what you need to say and gain the information you need to know, then move on. It's not all about understanding what a person is feeling that way or why a person has become who they are based on their experiences or history. It's not about taking the time to sit down and hear someone's life story or hear someone's silenced voice. Society has built it to where conversations don't go off on tangents, and are meant to be straight forward and linear. Rather than sharing yourself and your story, the conversations you must have must always be positive, highlighting just the good things in life, and masking the pain, the challenges, the mistakes, the depth to who you are and what you've gone through. We are so trained to tell people what they want to hear, and share what we think will make people happy, but at the end of the day how is that benefiting us, helping us grow, and expanding our knowledge?

Going around telling everyone you are fine, is just constantly trying to convince yourself to either go numb to your true feelings or to train yourself that that is what you have to think and how you have to feel because if you feel otherwise there is something wrong with you or you can't feel the way you feel or society with question or judge you. Going around just asking people how they are, is yes, very considerate and nice, but if you say it so emptily and just as a formality, what's the point in that? Where is the willingness to understand someone, the willingness to dive deep into the core of someone's true and raw feelings and emotions, the willingness to give that person the time and attention that they deserve and may need? I have found that surpassing surface level conversations has opened a door for someone to talk about those chained and locked up feelings they may have shoved away or pushed aside, and now has finally been surfaced because someone is taking the time to ask, to be there, to listen, to understand. I have found that surpassing surface level conversations has shown others that time and attention that they've always wanted but never received -- and honestly everyone does deserve to be heard and acknowledged. I have found that surpassing surface level conversations has left people realizing and learning more about themselves. You never know where the conversations will go, how in-depth it will be, what will be talked about -- but taking that chance to surpass the surface is a risk that I believe is worth trying.

I'm definitely guilty of going around asking people how they are, and sometimes it is just as a formality or to reciprocate since they asked first, but I'm trying to change that into something I find more meaning and more of a way to spark the mind. "What made you happy today"? "How are you truly feeling"? "What is something that you learned today"? Yikes, sounds a bit scary to ask someone right? Scary because of what the answer may be, how long the answer may be, and scary because you may hear something you don't want to hear, but that's what I find beautiful. Rather than "How are you"?, you are asking a more open ended question that can't necessarily be answered with a single word or phrase "I'm good" or "Good". It not only catches people off guard, but it gives them time to step back, think, and assess how they are truly feeling and what they are currently experiencing. The fact that you may be hearing what you want to or don't want to hear is the beauty and mystery of digging deeper and diving into more insightful and in-depth conversations --- diminishing the chance of the conversation cutting short and being so surface level.

Quick note: asking someone how they are -- yes I'm sure you are being genuine about it and truly want to know can even be a way to spark these conversations, but sometimes I'm sure you've experienced, you get asked how you are so many times it can be draining and causes you to give such a generic response to that question. So, why not challenge yourself to change it up and ask them something that not only checks in and understands how they are doing, but can lead to very interesting and thought provoking conversations?

It feels great learning about others. How they have struggled and have overcome the struggle. How they have grown and what they have done to help them grow. How they either failed or succeeded to achieve their goals and what worked and what can be improved upon. How they have been finding themselves and their identity and what has lead to those discoveries. How they have experienced pain and how that makes them feel. How they have been feeling happy and content with life and what has contributed to that. By learning from others, you learn more about yourself. It's an opportunity to reflect on who you were, who you are, and who you can become. It helps you reflect and assess on your own mindset, perspective, and viewpoint on things and whether or not you want to stick to how you think or consider what others think and be open minded to that. It challenges you to stop putting your mind on autopilot and living in this routine of such linear thought and perspective, and to think beyond outside of the box and in between the lines of the chapters of your life. Strangers, close friends, distant family members, significant others. There is no exact person or exact standard as to who you can have an insightful and intriguing conversation with -- it's all a matter of your willingness to do so. It can be scary, uncomfortable, and awkward but I'd say try it, or at least challenge yourself to surpass the surface level conversations and dive deeper, because you may be pleasantly surprised at what you will learn, how you will feel, and what you can take out of these conversations and implement into your growth, change, and development as a person internally and in society.